Wouldn't it be great if we could 'order' in some happiness? I am often asked for the 'secret' of happiness! People want to know 'how' they can achieve it. Many books have been written on happiness - from self help psychology books to philosophy books exploring the concept of happiness - what it is and how to find it! Is someone happy when they are always smiling? Are they happy if they have achieved wealth and success? For fun, let's take a look at a 'Happiness Recipe' I found and then take a closer look at this happiness question!
The Happiness Recipe
2 heaped cups of patience
1 heart full of love
2 hands full of generosity
1 head full of understanding
Dash of laughter
Sprinkle generously with kindness
Add plenty of faith and mix well. Spread over a period of a lifetime and serve everyone you meet!
I liked that - it brought a smile to my face! I hope it made you smile too! Which brings me to a point! When someone asks me to define happiness, I tell them that HAPPINESS is a BY-PRODUCT. In other words, it does not exist on it's own. Happiness happens when we do something else - it is a consequence, a result of another activity. That is why you can't buy' happiness - it is an intangible 'something' that happens because of choices we make and because of the way we perceive things.
Are there some people who are borne with 'happiness' - who just seem to 'have it'? We all know people who always appear cheerful, no matter what - and there are some people who simply seem to have a sunnier disposition than others! However, when you take a closer look, you will find that there are certain things that 'happy' people have in common. While happiness is an elusive concept, maybe there is a 'recipe' of sorts? Let's take a look!
Take a look at your attitude.
Very often we believe that someone else or something else can make us happy. Stop believing that now! If you believe that your happiness depends on getting a better job, losing weight or someone loving you, you are heading for misery. Only you can make yourself happy and no one else is responsible for your happiness. If you are feeling unhappy about something, what are YOU doing to change that? Your happiness is no-one else's responsibility, except yours - and you cannot blame anyone else if you are unhappy. As the saying goes 'If you don't like where you are, move! You are not a tree!'
Be grateful.
Cultivate an 'attitude of gratitude'! Research shows that one of the differences between happy and not-so-happy people is that happy people focus more on the positives than on the negatives in their lives. Think about it - how much do you think about your problems and how much do you think about what is good in your life? Which are more important to you? Does thinking about what you DON'T have make you feel better? Appreciate what you have. We have been brainwashed through the media into wanting more and better. A flashy car, new kitchen, an X-Box, or must-have Birkin bag cannot buy happiness. Savor special moments, nurture bonds with family and friends, and be thankful for the small things – a beautiful sunset, a delicious meal, a walk on the beach or laughing with your dad.
Set goals for yourself that will help you attain the happiness you deserve.
Remember what I said above - your happiness is YOUR responsibility! If there is something you want - what are YOU going to do to give it to yourself? If there is something that needs changing in your life, what are YOU going to do to change it? Don't wait for someone else to take the first step! Start with small, easy objectives first. Work on what you can change now. People often make the mistake of setting unachievable goals for themselves and then face disappointment afterwards.
Accept that bad things do happen and that life sometimes hands you a raw deal.
You all know the saying 'When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade!' Actually there are lots of really good things you can do with lemons and on top of all of that, lemons are good for you! The same thing with problems that come up from time to time - some of them really hard to cope with! Now I am not saying that you should not allow yourself to feel sad or angry when life hands you a 'lemon'. Repressing your emotions is not good for you and it is important to feel your feelings. However, it is also true that the ups and downs of life help you to learn and grow - they strengthen us and teach us things. There have been some pretty difficult times in my own life that were hard to cope with at the time. However, when I look back, would I wish them away? No, I don't think so (well most of them!) Looking back I can see what I have learnt and how I grew from going through the hard times. When you encounter problems, take responsibility and deal with them. This is all part of life’s lessons to help you see the bigger picture, and become a better person. Also look back at the times in your life when you thought you couldn't possibly recover from something - and you did and 'then some'! That often helps to put things into perspective!
Surround yourself with happy people.
When you interact with others who are happy, you automatically feel good. Negative people tend to drain your energies and are no fun to be around. I'm not talking about dropping precious friends and family when they are going through a crisis or needing some support. What I mean is - consider the people you spend your time with. Those who are constantly complaining and negative will tend to bring you down too. Happiness 'rubs off' - so choose to spend time with people who have a more positive attitude.
Laugh & smile more, it’s truly good for the soul.
You don’t have to be serious all the time. Use humor to deal with the heavy stuff that weighs you down - it works! Laughing and smiling produce 'feelgood' chemicals in the brain that lift your mood. Try smiling more at other people. They will smile back and when you see a smiling face, this will also lift your mood. Try it! :-) (see?) :-)
Be good to yourself.
Do what it takes to uplift your mood and spirits. This may mean buying yourself a bunch of lilies, coloring your hair, sleeping in late or having a long, lazy lunch. Some of us spend tons of time and energy looking after other people, but forget that we need nurturing too. Treat yourself like a best friend - look after your needs, nurture yourself and do the things that are good for your physical and mental health!
Believe that you are worthy of happiness.
This can take some thought - especially if you grew up in an environment where you were not nurtured. Make a conscious effort to expect and embrace happiness each day. Decide today that you are worthy of happiness and that you will do things to encourage happiness in your life!
Chemistry is not everything - but it helps! Happiness does not come in a pill - sorry! No amount of medication can make you happy. But brain chemistry does go lopsided sometimes - especially if you have been through a lot of stress. Sometimes we need a little extra help to produce those 'natural feel good chemicals' in the brain. While conventional anti-depressant medication has its place, I believe that if we can avoid addiction and side effects we should (who needs them, right?) Besides, there are natural alternatives that are just as effective. I spent many years developing natural medicines that work - containing well researched natural herbal and homeopathic ingredients in the correct dosages. Click on the link below to read more about natural medicines you can use for depression, anxiety and other mood related problems - without harming your health. Let me know if you have any questions.
Click here for natural remedies for depression, mood & anxiety.
2 heaped cups of patience
1 heart full of love
2 hands full of generosity
1 head full of understanding
Dash of laughter
Sprinkle generously with kindness
Add plenty of faith and mix well. Spread over a period of a lifetime and serve everyone you meet!
I liked that - it brought a smile to my face! I hope it made you smile too! Which brings me to a point! When someone asks me to define happiness, I tell them that HAPPINESS is a BY-PRODUCT. In other words, it does not exist on it's own. Happiness happens when we do something else - it is a consequence, a result of another activity. That is why you can't buy' happiness - it is an intangible 'something' that happens because of choices we make and because of the way we perceive things.
Are there some people who are borne with 'happiness' - who just seem to 'have it'? We all know people who always appear cheerful, no matter what - and there are some people who simply seem to have a sunnier disposition than others! However, when you take a closer look, you will find that there are certain things that 'happy' people have in common. While happiness is an elusive concept, maybe there is a 'recipe' of sorts? Let's take a look!
Take a look at your attitude.
Very often we believe that someone else or something else can make us happy. Stop believing that now! If you believe that your happiness depends on getting a better job, losing weight or someone loving you, you are heading for misery. Only you can make yourself happy and no one else is responsible for your happiness. If you are feeling unhappy about something, what are YOU doing to change that? Your happiness is no-one else's responsibility, except yours - and you cannot blame anyone else if you are unhappy. As the saying goes 'If you don't like where you are, move! You are not a tree!'
Be grateful.
Cultivate an 'attitude of gratitude'! Research shows that one of the differences between happy and not-so-happy people is that happy people focus more on the positives than on the negatives in their lives. Think about it - how much do you think about your problems and how much do you think about what is good in your life? Which are more important to you? Does thinking about what you DON'T have make you feel better? Appreciate what you have. We have been brainwashed through the media into wanting more and better. A flashy car, new kitchen, an X-Box, or must-have Birkin bag cannot buy happiness. Savor special moments, nurture bonds with family and friends, and be thankful for the small things – a beautiful sunset, a delicious meal, a walk on the beach or laughing with your dad.
Set goals for yourself that will help you attain the happiness you deserve.
Remember what I said above - your happiness is YOUR responsibility! If there is something you want - what are YOU going to do to give it to yourself? If there is something that needs changing in your life, what are YOU going to do to change it? Don't wait for someone else to take the first step! Start with small, easy objectives first. Work on what you can change now. People often make the mistake of setting unachievable goals for themselves and then face disappointment afterwards.
Accept that bad things do happen and that life sometimes hands you a raw deal.
You all know the saying 'When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade!' Actually there are lots of really good things you can do with lemons and on top of all of that, lemons are good for you! The same thing with problems that come up from time to time - some of them really hard to cope with! Now I am not saying that you should not allow yourself to feel sad or angry when life hands you a 'lemon'. Repressing your emotions is not good for you and it is important to feel your feelings. However, it is also true that the ups and downs of life help you to learn and grow - they strengthen us and teach us things. There have been some pretty difficult times in my own life that were hard to cope with at the time. However, when I look back, would I wish them away? No, I don't think so (well most of them!) Looking back I can see what I have learnt and how I grew from going through the hard times. When you encounter problems, take responsibility and deal with them. This is all part of life’s lessons to help you see the bigger picture, and become a better person. Also look back at the times in your life when you thought you couldn't possibly recover from something - and you did and 'then some'! That often helps to put things into perspective!
Surround yourself with happy people.
When you interact with others who are happy, you automatically feel good. Negative people tend to drain your energies and are no fun to be around. I'm not talking about dropping precious friends and family when they are going through a crisis or needing some support. What I mean is - consider the people you spend your time with. Those who are constantly complaining and negative will tend to bring you down too. Happiness 'rubs off' - so choose to spend time with people who have a more positive attitude.
Laugh & smile more, it’s truly good for the soul.
You don’t have to be serious all the time. Use humor to deal with the heavy stuff that weighs you down - it works! Laughing and smiling produce 'feelgood' chemicals in the brain that lift your mood. Try smiling more at other people. They will smile back and when you see a smiling face, this will also lift your mood. Try it! :-) (see?) :-)
Be good to yourself.
Do what it takes to uplift your mood and spirits. This may mean buying yourself a bunch of lilies, coloring your hair, sleeping in late or having a long, lazy lunch. Some of us spend tons of time and energy looking after other people, but forget that we need nurturing too. Treat yourself like a best friend - look after your needs, nurture yourself and do the things that are good for your physical and mental health!
Believe that you are worthy of happiness.
This can take some thought - especially if you grew up in an environment where you were not nurtured. Make a conscious effort to expect and embrace happiness each day. Decide today that you are worthy of happiness and that you will do things to encourage happiness in your life!
Chemistry is not everything - but it helps! Happiness does not come in a pill - sorry! No amount of medication can make you happy. But brain chemistry does go lopsided sometimes - especially if you have been through a lot of stress. Sometimes we need a little extra help to produce those 'natural feel good chemicals' in the brain. While conventional anti-depressant medication has its place, I believe that if we can avoid addiction and side effects we should (who needs them, right?) Besides, there are natural alternatives that are just as effective. I spent many years developing natural medicines that work - containing well researched natural herbal and homeopathic ingredients in the correct dosages. Click on the link below to read more about natural medicines you can use for depression, anxiety and other mood related problems - without harming your health. Let me know if you have any questions.
Click here for natural remedies for depression, mood & anxiety.
